Best Deadpool Quotes on Deadpool 2 (2018)

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Shit!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Daddy Needs To Express Some Rage.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Fuck Liefeld!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Here’s what I’m actually gonna do. I’m gonna work through his crew until somebody gives up Francis, force him to fix this, then put a bullet in his skull and fuck the brain hole!

Weasel: I don’t want to see that or think of it again.

Weasel: Wade Wilson. patron saint of the pitiful. What can I do for you?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’d love a “Blow Job”.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’d love a blow Job.

Weasel: Oh, God, me too…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: The drink, moose knuckle.

Weasel: All right, Kahlua, Baileys and whipped cream. I give you a “Blow Job”. I’m… Why do you make me make that?

Weasel: All right, Kahlua, Baileys and whipped cream. I give you a blow job”. I’m… why do you make me make that?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Got it? Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga.

Dopinder: Sir, what does miss Mama June taste like?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss!

Dopinder: Okay, enough!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I could go all day, Dopinder. The point is, it’s bad!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All the dinosaurs feared the mighty T-Rex

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All the dinosaurs feared the mighty T-Rex.

Ajax: Wade Wilson! What’s my name?!

Ajax: Wade Wilson! What’s my name?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ohhh, I’mma fuckin’ spell it out for ya.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ohhh, I’ma fuckin’ spell it out for ya.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s So confusing! Is it sexist to hit you .Is it more sexist to not hit you..I am so confused

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s so confusing! Is it sexist to hit you. Is it more sexist to not hit you. I am so confused.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Okay, let’s pro/con this superhero thing, pro – They pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies, con – they’re lame-ass teacher’s pets!

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You know I can hear you.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to them.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment, right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m touching myself tonight

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m touching myself tonight.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Is it sexist if I kill You? Is it sexist if I don’t kill you?

Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Hey!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Zip it, Sinead!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You big chrome cock goblin… you really gonna fuck this up for me

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You big chrome cock goblin… you really gonna fuck this up for me.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You even look in her direction, and I’ll show you that I’ve got some hard spots… that came out wrong… or did it?

Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: I’ll be happy to sit on.

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Wade, four or five moments.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: What?

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Four or five moments, that’s all it takes.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: To…?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Become a hero.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You even look in her direction, and I’ll show you that I’ve got some hard spots… that came out wrong… or did it?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You were wondering, this is a superhero movie but that guy just turned the other guy into a kebab, well surprise, this is a different kind of superhero movie. To tell it right, we need to take you back to before I squeezed this ass into a spandex.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right… I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Any last words?

Ajax: What’s my name?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Who fucking cares!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ripley from Alien 3!

Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Fuck, you’re old!

Weasel: Guy came in here looking for you. Real Grim Reaper-type. I don’t know. Might further the plot.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m just excited for my first day of superhero school.

Angel Dust: Shut the fuck up!

Weasel: Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade 2.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Did I say this was a love story? I meant horror movie!

Blind Al: Goddamn, I miss cocaine.

Ajax: Wade Wilson, what’s my name!?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh, I’m gonna fuckin’ spell it out for you!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Negasonic Teenage… what the shit?! That’s the coolest name ever!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Negasonic Teenage… what the shit? That’s the coolest name ever!

Ajax: What’s my name?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Why don’t I fucking spell it out for you?!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Why don’t I fucking spell it out for you?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: His real name is Francis, he got Ajax from the dish soap!

Weasel: Wanna get fucked up?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ever seen 127 Hours? Spoiler alert!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: #Drive-by

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Hashtag drive by.

Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: That’s a face I can sit on.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Did you ever hear about the one legged man in the ass kicking competition?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I was having a nightmare. I dreamed I took Liam Neeson’s daughter and he was just not having it.

Blind Al: I am crazy, or is your hand really small?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s about the size of a KFC spork.

Ajax: Ok, Fists then.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Just like last Saturday night for you.

Weasel: I’m sorry your face is….haunting.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All dinosaurs feared the T-Rex.

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Do you have off switch?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Yeah, it’s right next to the prostate…or is that the on switch?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Maximum effort

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Maximum effort.

Vanessa: I’ll be happy to sit on

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’ll be happy to sit on.

Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face… I’d be happy to sit on.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You know what they call cancer in Spanish?

Weasel: What do they call it?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: El cancer.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Only two of you living in a mansion this big? It’s almost like Fox couldn’t afford to have anymore X-Men.

Weasel: I’d come with you, but I don’t wanna.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: See, you don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl, the right girl will bring out the hero in you.

Ajax: What’s my name?

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: We’re taking you to the Professor.

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You will come talk with Professor Xavier.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Stewart or McAvoy? This whole ‘alternate universe’ thing gets really confusing..

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Stewart or McAvoy? This whole alternate universe thing gets really confusing..

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines can get so confusing.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: So what’s it going to be, sullen silence or mean comment?

Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Okay, you’ve got me in a box here.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Time to make the chimi-fucking-changas!

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Watch your language.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Suck a cock.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Cue the music…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I will shoot your cat!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: That ‘s a 16x fourth wall smash!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Cue the music…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ah, shit. Did I leave the stove on?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: This last shot has to pull out, but it’s the only thing pulling out tonight.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: :Oh yea….I’m touching myself tonight”!!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh yea….I’m touching myself tonight!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I bet it’s going to feel really big in that hand later…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: “I bet this little hand will make it look really big”

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I bet this little hand will make it look really big.

Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You are gonna talk to Professor Xavier.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? I find these parallel universes so confusing.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Chicka-chickahhhhh…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Right up Main Street!

Ajax: Quick question, what’s my name?

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Let’s dance…and by dance I mean kill each other!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: (Kicks Colassus in the 100% metal crotch) OMG!!! Your poor wife!!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: OMG! Your poor wife!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ripley, from Alien 3.

Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Fuck, you’re old.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Fine, but I only have 12 bullets so you’re gonna have to share!

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ladies and gentlemen: and now, the moment I’ve all been waiting for…

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Before I go, I misplaced an eight ball of cocaine somewhere in this apartment and it’s right next to the cure for blindness.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment – right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: That guy was up there before we got here.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Let’s go out there and make a difference!

Weasel: You are haunting.

Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado

Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank You

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank You.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank you.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ahhhh….I’m touching myself tonight

Vanessa: I love you, Wade Wilson. We can fight this.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You’re right. The cancer’s only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All things I can live without.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh, come on. You’re gonna leave me here with less angry Rosie O’Donnell?

Weasel: Oh, motherfucker, you are hard to look at.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I look like a testicle with teeth.

Weasel: You look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Exactly.