Best Deadpool Quotes on Deadpool 2 (2018)

Deadpool Quotes

DEADPOOL QUOTES

  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Shit!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Daddy Needs To Express Some Rage.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Fuck Liefeld!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Here’s what I’m actually gonna do. I’m gonna work through his crew until somebody gives up Francis, force him to fix this, then put a bullet in his skull and fuck the brain hole!
    Weasel: I don’t want to see that or think of it again.
  • Weasel: Wade Wilson. patron saint of the pitiful. What can I do for you?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’d love a “Blow Job”.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’d love a blow Job.
    Weasel: Oh, God, me too…
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: The drink, moose knuckle.
    Weasel: All right, Kahlua, Baileys and whipped cream. I give you a “Blow Job”. I’m… Why do you make me make that?
    Weasel: All right, Kahlua, Baileys and whipped cream. I give you a blow job”. I’m… why do you make me make that?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Got it? Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga.
    Dopinder: Sir, what does miss Mama June taste like?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss!
    Dopinder: Okay, enough!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I could go all day, Dopinder. The point is, it’s bad!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All the dinosaurs feared the mighty T-Rex
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All the dinosaurs feared the mighty T-Rex.
  • Ajax: Wade Wilson! What’s my name?!
    Ajax: Wade Wilson! What’s my name?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ohhh, I’mma fuckin’ spell it out for ya.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ohhh, I’ma fuckin’ spell it out for ya.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s So confusing! Is it sexist to hit you .Is it more sexist to not hit you..I am so confused
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s so confusing! Is it sexist to hit you. Is it more sexist to not hit you. I am so confused.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Okay, let’s pro/con this superhero thing, pro – They pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies, con – they’re lame-ass teacher’s pets!
    Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You know I can hear you.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to them.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment, right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m touching myself tonight
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m touching myself tonight.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Is it sexist if I kill You? Is it sexist if I don’t kill you?
  • Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Hey!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Zip it, Sinead!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You big chrome cock goblin… you really gonna fuck this up for me
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You big chrome cock goblin… you really gonna fuck this up for me.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You even look in her direction, and I’ll show you that I’ve got some hard spots… that came out wrong… or did it?
  • Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: I’ll be happy to sit on.
  • Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Wade, four or five moments.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: What?
    Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Four or five moments, that’s all it takes.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: To…?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Become a hero.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You even look in her direction, and I’ll show you that I’ve got some hard spots… that came out wrong… or did it?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You were wondering, this is a superhero movie but that guy just turned the other guy into a kebab, well surprise, this is a different kind of superhero movie. To tell it right, we need to take you back to before I squeezed this ass into a spandex.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right… I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Any last words?
    Ajax: What’s my name?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Who fucking cares!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ripley from Alien 3!
    Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Fuck, you’re old!
  • Weasel: Guy came in here looking for you. Real Grim Reaper-type. I don’t know. Might further the plot.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’m just excited for my first day of superhero school.
    Angel Dust: Shut the fuck up!
  • Weasel: Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade 2.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Did I say this was a love story? I meant horror movie!
  • Blind Al: Goddamn, I miss cocaine.
  • Ajax: Wade Wilson, what’s my name!?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh, I’m gonna fuckin’ spell it out for you!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Negasonic Teenage… what the shit?! That’s the coolest name ever!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Negasonic Teenage… what the shit? That’s the coolest name ever!
  • Ajax: What’s my name?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Why don’t I fucking spell it out for you?!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Why don’t I fucking spell it out for you?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: His real name is Francis, he got Ajax from the dish soap!
  • Weasel: Wanna get fucked up?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ever seen 127 Hours? Spoiler alert!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: #Drive-by
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Hashtag drive by.
  • Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: That’s a face I can sit on.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Did you ever hear about the one legged man in the ass kicking competition?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I was having a nightmare. I dreamed I took Liam Neeson’s daughter and he was just not having it.
  • Blind Al: I am crazy, or is your hand really small?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: It’s about the size of a KFC spork.
  • Ajax: Ok, Fists then.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Just like last Saturday night for you.
  • Weasel: I’m sorry your face is….haunting.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: All dinosaurs feared the T-Rex.
  • Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Do you have off switch?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Yeah, it’s right next to the prostate…or is that the on switch?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Maximum effort
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Maximum effort.
  • Vanessa: I’ll be happy to sit on
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I’ll be happy to sit on.
    Vanessa Carlysle/Copycat: After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face… I’d be happy to sit on.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You know what they call cancer in Spanish?
    Weasel: What do they call it?
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: El cancer.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Only two of you living in a mansion this big? It’s almost like Fox couldn’t afford to have anymore X-Men.
  • Weasel: I’d come with you, but I don’t wanna.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: See, you don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl, the right girl will bring out the hero in you.
  • Ajax: What’s my name?
  • Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: We’re taking you to the Professor.
    Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You will come talk with Professor Xavier.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Stewart or McAvoy? This whole ‘alternate universe’ thing gets really confusing..
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Stewart or McAvoy? This whole alternate universe thing gets really confusing..
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines can get so confusing.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: So what’s it going to be, sullen silence or mean comment?
    Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Okay, you’ve got me in a box here.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Time to make the chimi-fucking-changas!
  • Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: Watch your language.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Suck a cock.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Cue the music…
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I will shoot your cat!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: That ‘s a 16x fourth wall smash!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Cue the music…
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You weren’t meant to see that…
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ah, shit. Did I leave the stove on?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: This last shot has to pull out, but it’s the only thing pulling out tonight.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: :Oh yea….I’m touching myself tonight”!!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh yea….I’m touching myself tonight!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I bet it’s going to feel really big in that hand later…
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: “I bet this little hand will make it look really big”
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I bet this little hand will make it look really big.
  • Piotr Rasputin/Colossus: You are gonna talk to Professor Xavier.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? I find these parallel universes so confusing.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Chicka-chickahhhhh…
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Right up Main Street!
  • Ajax: Quick question, what’s my name?
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Let’s dance…and by dance I mean kill each other!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: (Kicks Colassus in the 100% metal crotch) OMG!!! Your poor wife!!
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: OMG! Your poor wife!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ripley, from Alien 3.
    Ellie Phimister / Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Fuck, you’re old.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Fine, but I only have 12 bullets so you’re gonna have to share!
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ladies and gentlemen: and now, the moment I’ve all been waiting for…
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Before I go, I misplaced an eight ball of cocaine somewhere in this apartment and it’s right next to the cure for blindness.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment – right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: That guy was up there before we got here.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Let’s go out there and make a difference!
  • Weasel: You are haunting.
    Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado
    Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank You
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank You.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Thank you.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Ahhhh….I’m touching myself tonight
  • Vanessa: I love you, Wade Wilson. We can fight this.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: You’re right. The cancer’s only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All things I can live without.
  • Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Oh, come on. You’re gonna leave me here with less angry Rosie O’Donnell?
  • Weasel: Oh, motherfucker, you are hard to look at.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: I look like a testicle with teeth.
    Weasel: You look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Exactly.

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